Billy? I can hear you but I can't really see you!!!!

Ok so tonight rocked and I mean that literally. First off I have to send a big huge shout out to my pal Nolan for the wonderful time and I am in your debt for tonight. Anyway now that the shout outs are over we can carry on with the story. Tonight was awesome like the rest of my life these days. Went to a concert and was blown away by an awesome band. They were awesome and as one of my pals that was with me described them "They we tight". Yea I would have to agree. But I do have to make a comment about the lead singers dancing because it looked kind of funny. It was fun to watch and he was defiantly into the music like the rest of the band. It was totally fun to listen too. Speaking of head banging I really don't have the hair for it yet but am on my way. I can't wait not that my hair will ever be that long but it is getting longer. Oh sorry for the bunny trail....... Anyway it was a great night. But what also makes the night even a little better is the prayer that just randomly happens in our house. It was not really random as it was evening prayer even if it was almost 3 hours late. But it was cool how it went full circle and connected to the morning prayers from this morning. That was awesome and being able to pray for my bests friends family(my 2nd family by the way) was just fun to do. I know that there are things that we find hard to deal with but it seems that God is big enough to make things seem so small. So mom and dad if you are reading this just know that I love you and care for you a lot and you are in my prayers. I really like the boxers as well mom the grateful dead ones rock!!!!

I have fallen in love with my FATHER again and with Prayer and talking to Him. It is a wonderful thing and I look forward to some more incredible times a head . Road trip wow thinking of incredible times ahead that would be one of them. I am privileged enough to be going on a road trip with a good friend that is a Brit(I don't hold that against him, he is a really good chap) and we are going to be heading to the states for a week. I will see what kind of trouble I can get him into during the trip. But it will be lots of fun and I love being around him and know that there will be stories that come out of this trip as well.

There are so many things that are going on right now that I could be here all night but for my sake as well as yours(the reader) I will just stop right here......

Light!?!?!?

Ok last night I was hanging out chatting with my good friend Andy and we were talking about all kinds of things. While we were talking Pam asked me if I wanted to watch Lord of the Rings - Return of the King and I told her that I would even though it was 10:20 at the time. When I finished talking to Andy we prayed and it was really impressed on my heart that there was something for me in the movie that I was going to be watching. I prayed that God would open me up to what it was and that He would show me. Well I have to say that He did show me and it was cool because it all did not sink in and make total sense until I was laying in bed for half an hour and not able to sleep.

Well what stood out to me in this movie was first the point where Pipen climbs that tower and lights the beacon on Gondor to call for help from Rohan. The second thing that stood out was a little while later Gandolf and Pipen ride out to help the Gondor troops that are trying to flee to the safety of Minis Trith. As Gandolf rides out and meets then he lifts his staff and shines light from it that the enemy is not able to deal with and they retreat. The third one however was brought to mind from the movie because we stopped watching it a little while after that because it was late. The third one is when Frodo is in the Spiders lair and pulls out the elvish light that he was given so that it could light his way. But it is also used just a little while after that by Sam and is used by Sam to kill the spider and save Frodo.

So those are the three things that really stuck out to me and kept me awake for a bit longer then I wanted but just before I was able to fall asleep God showed me that all of these light references could be related to the Great Commission. That the light off all of these is the same Light but the effect is a lot different. It also showed me that I will have a role that needs to be played in spreading that light. I am not completely sure yet but I get the sense that the first thing refers to spreading light on Calgary and calling for help for this city and others in future I am sure. The second was of a little group of warriors that fights for the first. Lastly the final on is just me and my friend and how that you have those one or two friends that you really battle for. So yea Calgary, Um (community), Close friends that is how it looks to me right now. Change is in the air I can feel it!!!!!

Love what is it really???

Ok as time goes by I really wonder what love is? I am having a hard time coming to grips with what we call love. So what is it that we all define it as? Well time tells me that love is a lot of things and many of them ar not good even though most of you would would try to argue the opposite side. Can Love suck????? I mean love is always locked at as a good thing and something that we don't have control over. But what is the later was true but the first part of that statement is not true? What if we give love but never receive it back? What then? Why is it that movies mostly portray love as that. That it is worth giving so you give it and the other person excepts it and then life goes on. Are there any movies out there that do not show love in this way. What would it look like if it was not shown this way? What if the movie started out and love was put out there for someone and they just walked on by or else they never recognized it as love being passed to them? I know that would make for a crap movie.... that is why it is not done. Ah well the things you think of.

So anyway the love thing really does effect me and I am not sure why. Life seems to go on enen with out the love thing and hearts get broken and we must pick up the pieces and move on with life. Something that we all have faced and have gotten over. Oh the one that got away or the one we had to let go. Life is like that if it where not where would we be still with our school crush I guess. Would that be a bad thing???? I guess the problem for me is that I have picked uo the pieces and have moved on with life but as the pieces have fit back into place and have been formed back into what resembles a heart again it starts to beat the same beat as it did before it was broken. What do you do with a heart like that. Does it long for more hurt and pain? Does it just need to be dropped again so that it will never go back together again? These are some things that I wonder about? These are things that I continue through. We were made to love and I believe that but what if that love were abused? We don't give love to ourselves because we already love ourselves. So what is it about giving love that can cause us so much pain. Life will go on but will the heart ever heal? What is healing of a broken heart? Is it the point where you finally don't care about the one that broke it in the first place or does it heal with a stronger love even though it has been fatally injured in the past? Can a broken heart be given to the one that broke it to be fixed? I guess that I will never really know the answer to that. All that I do know is that my heart belongs not in my hands but in the hands of those who break it because they are worth loving no matter how much it breaks for them. So I will continue to pray for the strength to live day after day with others holding the pieces of my heart.